No matter how excellent the teacher, how many years of experience, how much success has come before, once a student utters “new” in front of a teacher’s name, particularly in an urban school, blood pours into the water. A feeding frenzy ensues. The teacher laments, “But I’ve done my time! I’ve had my teacher hazing! I’m an x year teacher! I’m not fresh! I’m old! My wounds are solidly congealed!” It doesn’t matter. They bite anyway. Like that lucky seal in the shark infested waters off the Cape, I want to be the one that makes it through, who runs the gauntlet and arrives cleanly. I want to avoid the blood, the frenzy, the nipped fins. Is it possible? Am I being naive by even hoping for the possibility?
For the last two weeks, I’ve reviewed my discipline policies like the slow action camera used in Planet Earth. “If I take this route, then this occurs.” “This one may be cleaner.” “That procedure worked pretty well.”
I’m tempted to throw the blood out there myself. To openly declare, “I know what you can do to me. You can make my life hell. You have the power and the choice. However, by making my life hell you also destroy yours. You let the achievement gap widen. You help further the racial disparities in this country. You hurt your own chances for personal happiness and success.” That only works, though, if they care; if they can see higher on Maslow’s Hierarchy; if they believe that the quest to create is more meaningful than the quest to destroy. We all watch a car crash with awe.
What if I am not a seal at all? What if I am a shark too? They question this, obviously. “Some white lady from Bakersfield?” They out number me 30 to 1. I must prove my authenticity right away. They must know my reasons for being there, for holding them to high standards, for their rewards and their punishments. And then I must bite back. I must hold them to all that I’ve declared I would.
The seal who asks politely for safe passage or the shark who bites back? Either way, I probably will not be able to avoid some thrashing.